I hope the seagulls didn't shit in your food.

out for lunch at sea. come back later

You round up the hairs and I'll get the pen and paper.

we will have to conduct interviews with each hair to be sure. hairs are complicated beasts.

I have a theory as to why pubic hair is curly. It's because when the hair realises that it isn't growing on your head, it curls in attempt to get away.

i have a symbiotic virus. philosophers call it a backbone. it won't ever let me down. unfortunately, tests have shown it is typically not contagious. i am a scientist. i will keep testing.

Thank you for that wonderful poem my kind sir.

i dream all day. i can pretend i'm the bird flying over when i'm not busy. from up there, nobody looks stupid or violent. the just look wingless. flying gets so monotonous sometimes. i would trade my wings for some fingers, i think, if i was ever asked what i wanted.

How can people not worship the sun? I'll be back on earth soon my friend. I'm visiting Uranus at the moment.

greetings from earth. wish you were here. no, wait... wish i was there. too many people stopped worshipping the sun centuries ago. i'm all for having my hands down my pants, but not 24/7. keep doing what you do! hasta bonanza! love, your imaginary earthbound friend, jp